Maps To The Stars

Maps to the Stars is a 2014 film directed by David Cronenberg. Premiering at Cannes in may the film is a satirical exploration of how Hollywood manipulates and destroys innocence and youth. The film follows an aging actress, daughter of a Hollywood icon whose career is waning and who is slowly using her sanity, at the same time a young child star who is struggling with drug addiction attempts to salvage his career whilst dealing with the reappearance of his estranged sister.

The film is superbly acted, Julianne Moore is perfect as Havana, expertly portraying a former child star who is struggling to revitalize her career. Moore won the Best Actress award at Cannes and her performance is by far the best part of this film, Moore subtly portrays a woman slowly loosing her mind as she sees visions of her dead mother. Mia Wasikowska portrays her suffering assistant, a mysterious girl with awful burn marks and a hidden story. Finally newcomer Evan Bird plays Benjy Weiss, a spoilt and petulant child star, being manipulated by his parents, two of the most awful stage parents imagined, who also happen to be siblings.

The film is okay, sorry if that isn't very eloquent, although the visuals and the acting are strong, the film lacks direction. The film follows two disparate but tenuously linked plots, and although the plot featuring Julianne Moore as Havana is by far the strongest and most interesting plot, the other plot involving Benjy Weiss seems to take precedence despite being thematically confused and dull. Cronenberg seems at a loss to decide what he wants this story to be about, and he never truly makes a decision about which story he is going to follow, and thematically he is never sure what this story is supposed to be about, it seems to be partly about the perils of living a life seeped in Hollywood, of growing up surrounded by luxury, or if it wants to be about incest, family and manipulation.

The failures of Maps To The Stars rely wholly on Cronenberg's inability to focus and streamline the story, and so despite being a visually interesting and confidently acted drama, Maps To The Stars is messy, unfocused and confused. Rating: C+

Havana: She used to let producers put their cocks in her ass and pee.

Artistic Capers in Europe

The Monuments Men is a 2014 historical caper film starring and directed by George Clooney. The film follows a group of  art historians, architects and sculptors as they travel around Europe, disguised as soldiers, attempting to reclaim works of art stolen by the nazi's.The film stars an ensemble cast featuring Clooney, Bill Murray, Matt Damon,Bob Balaban, John Goodman, Jean Dujardin and Cate Blanchett. The film features a talented and diverse cast, and the performances are mostly good, Cate Blanchett's performance is standout as Claire, a troubled and conflicted double agent working both for the nazi's and with the resistance, and her grasp of the french accent is impressive. Also strong is John Goodman's performance as Garfield, and he plays this predominantly comic character with real heard and deep emotion.

This film is based on a true story, however that works to it's disadvantage, during the film the main group of characters split up, and thus the chemistry between the group is vastly diminished. The first part of the film sort of works because of the complex links between all the characters and because of the strong chemistry between the group of the whole. Splitting the group up into four groups leads to fast cuts between sets of characters, robbing the film of majesty and charisma. The other big story problem is that we are not given enough history on any of the characters, we don't know enough about their work or their pasts, and we don't fully understand the conflicts that arise between the characters, such as a running rivalry between Bob Balaban and Bill Murray's characters, that is simply never explained. Because of the lack of explanation, we never fully believe in them as art historians or architects, and thus the whole film comes off as a sort of farce.

The Monuments Men is undeniably gorgeous to look at, the cinematography is fantastic and the film looks great as a whole. The film just feels highly pedestrian and unexciting, the plot of the film has the opportunity to be exciting and thrilling, and whilst i was happy to see a fun war caper, i doubt i will much remember the film in a few months, for despite the good performances and beautiful cinematography, the only response i can really give to The Monuments Men, is a resounding 'Meh'. Rating: C-

Frank Stokes: You can wipe out an entire generation, you can burn their homes to the ground and somehow they'll still find their way back. But if you destroy their history, you destroy their achievements and it's as if they never existed.

Oz, Neither Great nor Powerful

Oz The Great and Powerful is a 2013 Disney prequel to the 1939 MGM film, directed by Spider-Man director Sam Rami. The film stars James Franco as Oscar Diggs, a small town traveling magician from Kansas, who is whisked away in a tornado to a magical land called Oz, where ha encounters three witches: Mila Kunis plays Theodora, Michelle Williams plays Glinda, the good witch of the south and Rachel Weisz plays evanora, the wicked witch of the east. The film uses a spectacularly large amount of CGI, and a large part of the film was made on a digital backlot.

The film is set many years before the events of The Wizard of Oz, and describes the wizard's arrival in Oz. Oscar Diggs is swept away to a magical land by a hot air balloon while he is attempting to escape from the wrath of his investors. Diggs discovers a world in turmoil, where three witches fight for power. The problem with this film is that it has no message, the film says nothing about power or magic, and the character of Oz is totally miscast, with James Franco lacking the slick charm of the magician, and seeming like merely a slimeball. The films only message seems to be that cheating pays, and nothing is said about what truly makes a great man great, a missed opportunity rather.  The film is only a semi-prequel to The Wizard of Oz, and the film makes little reference to the 1939 film, neither visually nor stylistically. The narrative of the film somewhat follows the MGM film, with Oscar meeting Dorothy's mother in kansas, and Diggs being sucked into Oz in the same way that Dorothy was. Stylistically the film shares very little with The Wizard of Oz. The only real similarity is that the film opens in black and white and transforms into color when Diggs enters Oz. The film also begins in the old fashioned 'academy' ratio, and gradually expands into widescreen.

The film looks very little like the original film, the MGM film used largely low-fi practical effects. For instance the door opening to color was achieved with some very careful painting of the door, a sepia tinted outfit and a slight tint on the whole first segment led to a very convincing effect. The whole of the 1939 film was filmed in a studio, whereas this film was mostly made on a digital backlot, sacrificing reality for fakery, and grounded imagery for fancy graphics, and The film for the most part looks terrible. Generally this film can be split into three segments, the first black and white segment, the second segment set on and around the yellow brick road, and the final segment, which portrays the battle for Oz. The second segment looks the worse, and is the one which looks the least grounded in reality. This segment was mainly shot on a digital background, and depicts a world in which everything looks larger than life, and giant. The problem with this is that rather than looking awe inspiring, James Franco just looks ridiculously small, and looks out of place, the real problem is that there is no point of reference, and the actors are simply pasted onto these backgrounds with no interaction between the characters and their surroundings.

The character of Finley is also a problem, the character looks fake and rubbery, and fails to leap the uncanny valley. However the character of China Girl is unbelievably cute. The final sequence of the film looks fantastic, and the filmmakers use an art deco style for the emerald city, and although the city differs from the in the MGM film, it looks fantastic. The film overall has a rather good script and a fun story and the overall conclusion of the story is really rather clever. The wicked witches costume annoyed me a little, as she has a strap round her neck, which makes her look really small and a little fat. The film also suffers from the fact that many of the iconic properties invented for the MGM film were not allowed for this film, due to the rights being held by Warner Bros. The ruby slippers are an example as well as the swirl design in munchkinland and the mole on the wicked witch of the west's chin and the exact color of her skin, this leads to the witch being presented as a small fa woman with an unappetizing skin color, as opposed to the real iconic monster in the 1939 film.

Overall many of the failures of this film are due to it being too tied in to the film world of the MGM film, yet legal issues hamper it from becoming a true prequel, and from having the classic iconic feel of the original. Overall the film looks withering and lacks any real grounding, the characters seem superimposed and photoshopped onto their environments. The story is rather clever, however it has no meaning and says nothing about power or greatness. this film pails in comparison to Return to Oz which looks better and has more substance. 50% prequel, 50% spinoff; 100% pointless Rating: C+

Theodora: Aren't you the great man we've been waiting for?

Bewitched Review

A semi sequel to the cult sixties TV series which is still popular today, Bewitched is a comedy about a feal life witch who decides to give up being a witch, and who attempts to live a normal life, and not use her powers. The film is not a direct sequel or continuation of the TV series, despite having plot similarities with the series, the film is set in a world in which the series exists, and is referenced multiple times, the main character is an actress who is acting in a revival of the series.

Overall i like the premise of the film, i think it is smart, tongue in cheek and pleasantly self referential, and i like the fact that the plot concept is significantly updated from the series. This is for a good reason, the series was set in the sixties and seventies, when being a housewife was the norm, and the film significantly modernizes this concept, with Samantha becoming a single working woman, whilst retaining the overall essence of the series, with the main character trying to hide her 'gift'.

Nicole Kidman stars as the Isabel Bigelow, a witch who attempts to become normal, and the performance is refreshing and comedic, a departure from Kidman's usual dramatic performances. Will Ferrell stars as Jack Wyatt, and arrogant actor. Here the casting is problematic, i have never been a huge fan of Ferrell, and here he plays a failing, has-been, irritating actor, and the film from then on becomes an uncomfortable metaphor, with the characters history mirroring that of Ferrell himself, with the actors once promising future now, unfortunately, in the gutter. Good time for an anchorman revival anyone?The plot of the film starts of being engaging and sweet, whilst quickly going downhill into a mess of silliness and typical overacting. The pairing of Kidman and Ferrell is also slightly odd, with the two lacking any real chemistry.

Overall the film despite having an interesting concept and an engaging performance from its leading lady, slowly tumbles down to its messy messy demise in a cacophony of silliness and slapstick which do little to improve the chemistry of its on screen couple, or the films convoluted plot, in other words, a disappointment. Rating: C

Only God Forgives

Well, this weeks cinema outing is so impressionable that it even encouraged me to coin the adjective 'Ryan Gosling', meaning a bloated pseudo-artistic pretentious movie. I didn't think it was possible at the time but this movie is so much worse than 'the place beyond the pines'. The films stars Ryan Gosling as Julian,  a man exiled in bankok, running a boxing club as a front for his families drug running business . Kristen Scott Thomas stars as his mother, who comes to collect Julians brothers body, and who asks him to get revenge.

Overall this film is really really boring, at only an hour and a half it feels way too long, and i found myself almost falling asleep only to be woken from my slumber by the metallic whip of a limb being cut off. The film is a complete paradox in that is manages to be underscripted and overscripted simultaneously, on one hand there is barely dialogue, and not enough story to fill a feature picture, the spaces in between the dialogue is filled with shots of good

looking people staring at doors. Then on the other hand, the film is overscripted, in that all the dialogue is so ponderous and 'artsy' and none of it actually seems genuine or real.

The film is neither successfully nor poorly acted, its simply non-acted, neither of the leads really sell their characters, and the lack of dialogue doesn't help this. The film is also really poorly lit, with an over use of red lights, clearly intended to make the film 'artistic' The film has little or no emotion, an presents characters which it is unclear if the audience is supposed to care about or not, this and the gratuitous use of violence makes for a dull ride. The film goes way too far with the violence, with it being overused and bluntly used with no depth or subtlety, and feels needless.

Overall 'Only God Forgives' is a bad film, and one which is really really boring with a load of gratuitous violence, it is a film which pretends to be 'artistic' and which ends up being bloated, self important and with a ludicrously thin script, an exercise in masturbatory film-making. On the plus side i guess Ryan Gosling does look cute, even bathed in red light. Rating: C-

Billy: Time to meet the devil.

A Bridal Disaster

There are bad films, and there are worse films, then there are some films that are so bad, that they are actually good. Bride Wars is such a film, this train wreck of a disaster is an epic tale about two brides, the story spells disaster when their weddings are scheduled on the same day, as they always dreamed of having june wedding at the plaza, anyone else rolling their eyes yet? The film has Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson in its leading roles, and has a metascore of 24.

The film is unintentionally laughable, and thus rather entertaining, the overall premise of the film is that two brides, who each dreamed of having june weddings at the plaza hotel, have their weddings scheduled on the same day by bureaucratic error, thus these lifelong friends become mortal enemies in an attempt to shatter the wedding dreams of the other with such inventive traps as hair dye and spray tan, does anyone actually believe that they make a tan called blood orange?

One of the many problems of this film is that neither of its main characters are at all likeable, much less three dimensional. Hathaway plays Emma Allen, a teacher who only seems to be come engaged for the sole wish of getting married at the plaza, in fact each of the main characters remark 'where are our divorces'. Hudson plays an equally unlikeable character, Liv Learner, a lawyer who utters phrases that are too hokey for even a John Grisham novel, and who is so unlikeable that Stan Lee would describe her as too hideous to play a comic book villain.

This film contains character twists that are so ridiculous that in even an average movie, one would question the integrity of the characters, this movie is so heinous, that even in the first five minutes, one questions whether the characters have any integrity, in fact one is even pushed to question whether the characters have any emotions. The one redeeming factor of this movie is that it is not boring, somehow the filmmakers manage to add enough twists and turns, which story-wise add little in the way of character development, yet which are engaging and at times a little inventive.

Overall this is a cheap and ludicrously commercial forgettable comedy, it gives two dimensional characters, and has numerous plot holes and thoroughly unlikeable characters. Yet it is also a little fun and on the plus side, its better than every single Adam Sandler movie. In short don't buy it, but if you can watch it for free online, and have nothing more useful to do, then its not a completely horrendous way to spend an hour and a half, just don't take it too seriously. Rating: C+

 
Emma: [to Liv] Your wedding's gonna be huge, just like your ass at prom.
Liv: Your wedding can suck it.